Saturday, August 1, 2009

Ignobly yours, the ignoramuose

Several people (No one) have asked me, "Why have you named your blog, 'The Ignoble Ignoramus', 'The Ignoble Ignoramoose'?" And there are a lot of different ways I could answer that question, because there are a lot of different questions within that question. Why did I spell Ignoramus wrong? Why do I consider my self to be an ignoramus? Why do I consider myself to be ignoble? What does ignoble mean? Well, courtesy of me, I've decided to answer most of these questions that none of you actually asked in alphachronologibetical order, in relation to the middle and last names of the people (no one) and the time it takes to say the names of those people (no one) who confronted me with the questions in question.

Firstly, 'Why did you spell 'ignoramus' wrong both in the domain name and in the title of your blog?'

Well, it all started when I first thought of the title ‘ignoble ignoramus’ (more on that later). I did some very in depth research (googled it) and found 'ignoramous' as an entry in urban dictionary. "Huh," I thought to myself, "Ignoramous must be slang". So I accepted the spelling of -mous. Typed it in to the domain field, then the title field and that was that.

Until someone told me that the proper spelling was, in fact, 'ignoramus'.

"Oh no!" I exclaimed to an empty room, as I am like to do, "My witty alliterate title has a typo in it!" The irony of misspelling the word that I was using to describe myself as a moron was overwhelming, and I quickly went into hiding.

Several minutes later, I decided to step it up a notch on the irony front, and misspell ignoramus twice, in close proximity to one another. Failure averted (in my small self-centered world).

Which brings me to my next point. I am an idiot. This kind of thing happens to me all the time. So much so, that I will preemptively strike at upcoming showcases of my idiocy with obvious ploys of 'irony' wherein I hope to portray myself as SO stupid, that no one could possibly see through to the fact that I actually am, THAT stupid.

"But wait, you manly sexy devil, surely if you're able to manipulate a ploy that intricate you couldn't be considered an idiot," you might ask. If you were being prompted questions by me. And that's where you/I would be wrong. Just as animals over time learn to exploit the resources around them, I have learned to exploit the all too accepting of moron-itude prevalent in my generation, without the use of any intelligence whatsoever. And I don't think I am the only one.

All too often I see people attempt to do what I have learned to do. They stumble around searching for a word, when all of a sudden; they are no long certain of the word's pronunciation. So, instead of inviting the cruel mockery of the people around them, they exacerbate their lack of knowledge by not only mispronouncing the word in question, but even all of the simple words around it. I see it happen all of the time, mostly because I do it all of the time.

And I have to wonder, why do I do this cover up, instead of being open about something so simple as a pronunciation of a word? I do this, and lose any opportunity for someone to correct me, and for me to actually learn something new.

I'm afraid of people thinking that I'm not as knowledgeable as I think I am. And I'm willing to sacrifice knowledge in order to maintain that image. It’s a vicious cycle.

That is why I have chosen this title. I'm just an ignoble (common, base, low to answer question 4) ignoramus, trying to make you think I'm not.




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