The Finale of Penguin Holmes

Holmes was not particularly surprised to find himself in a dark, damp, jail cell. He scanned his setting. Again, not astonished to find Watson was not with him. He was however taken aback by the small rat in the corner sitting there, drinking tea, and reading a newspaper.

“Hey, rat-“ Holmes started

“I’m a mouse” interrupted the ra-mouse, without looking up from his paper.

“Really? You look like a rat.”

With a sigh the mouse, put down his paper and explained, “I’m getting paid by the hour to complete the jail experience. I told them that mice were just as likely to hang out at a jail as a rat, but they wouldn’t hear it. So, here I am.”

“Oh”

“Yeah, those unicorns are really uptight about the whole perfect appearance,” The mouse lifted his newspaper again.

“When did the mayor order the jail to be built?”

“A couple of weeks ago. About the same time the curfew was placed into effect.”

“Could you tell me the mayor’s name?”

“Look, I’m really not supposed to talk.”

“I see, oh well, I have a pretty good idea who it is anyway”

The mouse shrugged and went back to his paper.

Holmes looked around the cell. No windows, and the bars seemed pretty sturdy. And knowing who commissioned the jail to be built, he knew that escape was highly unlikely.

Holmes sunk his head down to his chest and closed his eyes. After about ten minutes like this he heard hoof steps coming down the hallway. When they stopped in front of the cell’s bars, Holmes looked up to his visitor, a moose walking on its hind legs, dressed in a three piece suit with a bowler cap standing several feet away from the cell. Holmes greeted his old nemesis, “I was wondering when you were going to show up, Moriarty Moose.”

Moriarty Moose smiled, “That’s Mayor Montgomery Moose to you, Penguin Holmes…and, well, everyone else, I suppose.”

“So, you wanted a new identity, but you thought, ‘Hey, why lose the alliteration?’”

Moriarty shrugged, and Holmes continued.

“It must have taken some work tricking all the unicorns into trusting you.”

“Not at all. They really are very stupid creatures.”

“Quite… But, I thought you were still in prison. Did 2 lifetimes go by that quickly?”

“Holmes, we both knew it was only a matter of time-”

“Prison sentences usually are.”

“-Until I escaped. You know Holmes, you mustn’t interrupt people. It’s very rude. A person might hold a grudge. Maybe hatch a plot, and exact revenge.”

“Indeed,” Holmes said, looking around his surroundings.

“So…Holmes, no doubt you’ve already figured it all out. Should I explain or should you?”

“If you don’t mind. I haven’t figured out how or why, but after you busted out of jail you found yourself in Unicornicopia”

“I’m disappointed Holmes. Usually you know the whole story.”

“Yeah, well…I’ve only been on the case for a few conscious minutes. Anyways, like me, you must have been repulsed by the place. However, while I wished to leave immediately, you saw an opportunity to exploit a people, and I take it you had not forgotten me, the penguin who had sent you to jail. So you hatched a plot. You easily befriended the unicorns and became their mayor. You read in the newspaper that London Town had reached a record low in its crime rate. So, you started stealing Ms. Equulues’ freshly baked pies. Easy to do, with your new curfew in place. Knowing I would be out of work, you must have met up with Equulues and dropped into the conversation that I was a detective. So when her pies started disappearing she called me, and I was forced to come to this vile place by an empty wallet. When Watson, Equulues, and I were drinking our tea you sneaked into the kitchen and drugged the next round of tea. And now, with your newly built prison, you have the perfect place to keep me for as long as you like.”

“Correct, Mr. Holmes. And now that you’ve been caught, you shall be sentenced to death.”

“What?”

“Yes, death. Apparently the new mayor here is very hard on murderers.”

“Murderer?”

“Ms. Equulues. You poisoned her tea. You’re a very evil man, Holmes.”

“You killed her”

“No, as far as all the unicorns are concerned. You killed her. And in a way, you did. Without you, I never would have gone to prison, never would have broken out, never would have come here.”

“You can’t blame me for your crimes, Moriarty.”

“No, you’ll do that yourself. Won’t you?” Moriarty smiled as Holmes stared back at him.

“Where is Watson?” Holmes asked.

“He’s being held at Equuleus’ house. He was…heavy. But we’ll sort some kind of…harness or something to execute you both.”

“You won’t get away with this Moriarty.”

“And what makes you say that Holmes? When it looks to me, that I already have.”

“Just one thing, the murdering Mayor Moriarty Moose. Everyone knows, unicorns included (however naïve they may be), that mice are all good natured.”

Moriarty’s eyes widened and he looked to the now vacant corner of the cell, “…That was a rat, not a mouse.”

“It was a mouse” Holmes smiled

“I specifically remember it being a rat,” he started to back up down the hallway.

“I specifically remember it telling me it was a mouse. A London Town mouse, judging from the newspaper he chose” Holmes said, lifting up a tiny edition of The London Town Times.

“No…” Moriarty said, advancing towards the jail door at the end of the hallway.

“Meaning, he had probably read all about my cases, and about you, Moriarty. It only took your name to remind him of where he had no doubt seen your face before.”

“No!” Moriarty shouted, now running towards the door, and his escape. But before he could reach his destination, the door opened to reveal two unicorns, chest to chest, with a mouse perched on the head of the left one.

“That’s him.That’s Moriarty the killer.” The mouse said, pointing to the now cornered moose.

Moriarty lowered his antlers and charged for the door. He slammed into the stomachs of the two unicorns and bolted away as they lay on the ground. When they recovered, they made their way to Holmes’ cell.

“On behalf of Unicornicopia, we’re awfully sorry about this whole ordeal, but we have to be sure. It wasn’t you who poisoned Ms. Equulues?” the older unicorn said.
“No, the reason being that…I’m a penguin…and… penguins never kill with poison?“

“Okay then, off you go.” The unicorn said, unlocking the cell door.

“…Alright, thank you…” Holmes said as he started out of the jail. He stopped mid stride after passing the unicorns and turned to one of them to ask, “I don’t suppose, you know when the next train out of here is?”

“There’s a train leaving for London Town in a couple of hours.”

“With me on it.” Holmes said.

Holmes started out of the jail, but stopped when he saw the mouse standing there.
“Thank you,” Holmes said.

“Think nothing of it, Mr. Holmes. I read all about you in the London Town Times. I knew you couldn’t have killed that lady.”

“Well, thank you anyways…”

“It’s Ralph”

“Thank you, Ralph.”

Holmes once again started out of the door, but then ran back in after a couple of seconds passed, “Wait! I couldn’t have done it! Because, I’m a penguin and it would have been very difficult for me to reach the tea!”

The older unicorn, the younger, and Ralph stared at him.

Again Holmes started away muttering to himself, “Well, I thought it was a better excuse…”

*****************************************

When Holmes explained what had happened to Watson, they were on the train back to London Town.

“So, Holmes. I imagine we’ll be seeing Moriarty again.”

“I sincerely hope not Watson…”

“…Wait, what happened to Ms. Equulues? Was she drugged as well?”

“Yes”

“Is she alright?”

“No,” Holmes said, breaking eye contact with Watson.

“…I see… Holmes-“

“Watson, I could go a long time without ever talking about Unicornicopia again. The people were exploited by Moriarty as a trap for me. I know it’s not my fault for that, but then they were exploited by me to get out of prison.”

“But Holmes-”

“Yes, I know I am innocent. But I still don’t like it.”

They sat in silence. Listening to the train’s progression across the land. Already the musical quality and happy air of Unicornicopia were falling behind them. The sun had gone down and the darkness of the night was starting to set in.

“They’re too gullible, Watson.”

“Holmes?”

“The unicorns. I just wish they weren’t so gullible.”

“Yes, Holmes.”

*****************************************


That actually might be the last I write (or re-write) about Penguin Holmes in a while. I suppose eventually I might come back to it, as it is probably the most I have ever developed an idea, the most I've ever written about a single cast of characters, and the most effort I've put in to a storyline (as little as that may be). But, for now, I think I'll try and write more short stories and expand on different characters and ideas. Thanks for reading.